“Society’s homophobia has seeped into your inner being” Silvia explains, as she speaks out about her experience living as a member of the LGBTQ+ community in California.

Silvia Sosa was born and raised in California, where she spent a large portion of her life doing ballet. She is currently happily married to her wife, Nicki, and has a wonderful relationship with all of her family, but it wasn’t always that way. After moving away to college she had to re-orient herself to find out who she was, separate from dancing, which is how she found her love for history. She was also able to explore other parts of her identity, which is also when she began to experiment outside of straight relationships, and where she met her first and only girlfriend, Nikki.  However, being a young college student, Silvia still hadn’t fully come to terms with her identity yet. She found support through her friends and siblings, who gave her unconditional support and love through the most difficult times in her life. She found comfort in the invisible wall she built between her life in college and her life with her family. When the time came for her two worlds to merge, Silvia felt a lot of anxiety and apprehension.

Silvia explains that she wasn't scared about her family and their community finding out, but" I was nervous to make it real " she explains, as she talks about her emotions before coming out to her family.

Still, she was apprehensive about everyone knowing about a part of her life that she still didn't truly understand. “There would be no going back,” she confided, explaining the reasoning behind her initial apprehension. Many queer individuals keep their love life a secret for a multitude of reasons, however, nothing is ever kept secret forever. Once she did fully come out to her parents, she was like a butterfly that had finally learned to fly. She could fully and completely be herself without having to worry about the secrets. 

“It was easier cuz I didn’t have to keep any secrets” Silvia explains when speaking about the relief she experienced once everything was out in the open. 

As time passed, and Silvia became more confident in herself and her relationship, she struggled to put an official label to her emotions. Even today, Silvia doesn’t label herself as queer or lesbian, but rather centers her identity (as a member of the LGBTQ+ community) around the love she has for her wife. Silvia explains her identity as "being connected to a person, as opposed to a label," but even this has provided internal conflict in her life. Mrs.Sosa has never been truly sure if her desire to break away from a label truly came from a place of love for her spouse, or from a bit of internalized homophobia from living in a hetero-normative society.

Sometimes it feels as though “Society’s homophobia has seeped into our inner being” as Silvia illustrates it.

“A big conflict within my own life is trying to figure out where the truth is within myself” Silvia comments. 

We live in a world that emphasizes that being straight is normal while being queer is different, and being different can sometimes result in being an outcast. Due to this, we can sometimes have subconscious components of our identity that are homophobic, usually to protect ourselves. The amazing thing about the LGBTQ+ community is that it is a place where being different is the norm, and outcast isn't even in the dictionary. Silvia commented that “Society [in actuality] is so diverse that it[being queer] doesn’t need to be a big deal” because everyone is so different. Silvia believes that the deeper self-reflection and uncertainty younger queer individuals go through early on is what makes them stronger and more prepared for the world they will face in the future. 

Silvia’s advice to her younger self would be to “Just be patient because not everything will be the way you want it to be right away, and that is part of the extra growth that people of the LGBTQ+ community have to go through, but it is what makes you much stronger and much surer of yourself.” Silvia's journey of self discovery is not over yet, but her story is something to be admired and learned from.